Cultural stress

Cultural stress is a term I’ve coined that recognizes the perceived conflictual desires of individualism & collectivism. How can I honor the collective that has shaped me while honoring my desires to feel fulfilled in life?

My parents immigrated from Nigeria and brought with them not only their personal dreams and aspirations but the expectations and dreams of their family they left in Nigeria. As a child of immigrants I straddled that intergenerational expectation of honoring the collective that shaped and molded me while discovering what and who I am outside of their gaze. Sometimes that causes a tension where at times it can seem difficult to hold both their desires and exceptions along with my personal desires.

Let’s explore this cultural tension more.

• Collectivism and Indvidualism

  Collectivism: the belief that the groups need/desire are prioritized over the individual.

  Individualism: the belief that the needs and rights of the individual are more important than the needs of a group or society.

• Who tends to experience cultural stress?

  • Immigrants from the global south living abroad supporting family back in their country of origin.

  • 1st and 2nd generation children of immigrants.

  • People of color who grew up collectivistic oriented communities.

• What can cultural stress look like?

  • Family members expecting you to choose a career path of guaranteed stability vs what you actually want to do.

  Example: Your family desire for you to become a lawyer, doctor, or engineer. Typically those jobs pay higher but you really are into the creative arts and want to pursue a career within that field. You won’t have their support if you choose the arts.

  • Financially supporting family members outside.

  Example: Now if it's within your means to offer that, amazing! For others that unintentionally become the bread winner of the family, they can feel the pressure to give beyond their means.

  • Developing differing beliefs and/or value systems then your family of origin.

  Example: As humans do, they evolve and with that their beliefs shift. That can look like renouncing/changing religions, honoring your true sexual orientation, leaving a relationship or situation that no longer aligns, etc .

• How does that cultural stress manifest?

  • poor boundaries

  • feelings of overwhelm

  • burnout

  • hyper independence

  • over achieving

  • suppressing true emotions

  • difficulty asking for help

Collectivistic desires for the individual can originate from a place of survival. The family members that came before us saw pursuing a lucrative career as a means of survival and movement up in social standing. It was a ticket out of poverty. That survival can look like assimilation (voluntary or involuntary) , playing small or distancing from their culture of origin.

So, how can I live more authentically while honoring my individual desires and the collective? How can somatic therapy help with this tension? We will explore in the next post.